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They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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