I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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