everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
