My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Green mimosas i think yes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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