I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
