Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
