It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
