i think my tv is drunk
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
