My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
