dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is wine microwaveable?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
