I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
