Can Purell be used as lube?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
