he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
