No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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