in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
