just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
