What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
