you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
