i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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