Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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