I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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