it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
