I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
