I love black thongs
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
