break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
