It's like God shit irony all over that family
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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