check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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