hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What a dumb baby whore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
