tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
