I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
