He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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