i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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