oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Im part way to drunk.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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