Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
