Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
