I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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