just tell him i said nine months
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
