And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoofâ€
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