Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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