I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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