their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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