If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
