so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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