I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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