Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
