my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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