Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
