Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
