i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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