ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
