Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
